“At first my mom was really sad because I wouldn’t have enough money to support myself as a teacher. I understand that she’s a mom and she worries about stuff like that. She thinks I should find a doctor to marry or something like that. She’s like ‘Oh, I don’t want you to worry about money.’ She’s like, ‘Can you do something else too? Can you be like the woman who wrote Harry Potter and write like some bestselling novel?’ I was like ‘Sure mom, yeah!’ My dad was just kind of like, ‘Why don’t you be an accountant or something you know?’ The thing with my dad is that you can see the sexism in him, that he didn’t take my education all that seriously.”

Pamela grew up in a family that, according to her, holds “stereotypical Asian” ideas of success, like being “a doctor or something.” While family is important to her, her determination to do something about social injustices is the path she chose. Going against what she ’should‘ have done is something that her family reminds her of. But in the end, Pamela feels she chose the path that was in line with who she is.

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Author’s Note: Through the stories of Kim, Trang and Pamela, I attempted to draw out the dilemmas that young Vietnamese American women face when it comes to finding and defining “success” for themselves. For these young women, like their counterparts, the issues were about trying to make their career/life path fit with their family’s needs and trying to reconcile with their family’s expectations to be successful. Their stories reveal how they both legitimized and resisted the common or stereotypical notions of being successful. My conversations with these women were part of my dissertation and revealed that what has been constructed as “success” within the Vietnamese community is shifting. This is evident by the experiences of some young Vietnamese American women in that, although there is a continual dialogue with the “shoulds” or the family’s stereotypical notions of success, there is also a seeking of other life paths and other ways to express oneself.

*All names have been changed.

end